1. I AM NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, I DON’T JUDGE PEOPLE.
No, you are not special. And you judge people without realizing it always to a certain extent. Please stop being a pretentious ass.
2. IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHY I AM MAD, YOU DON’T DESERVE TO KNOW.
What the..? How does that even work? I am not professor Charles Xavier for Christ sake!
3. YOU LOOK REALLY SAD, CAN I HELP YOU IN ANYWAY? ARE YOU SURE YOU ARE OK?
The only thing not ok with me is your constant pestering. I was fine before you went all Dr. Phil on my ass.
4. ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME.
Yes, God judged you and reached a result that you are hopeless.
5. ONE LIKE = ONE PRAYER
This is all over Facebook, please realize no amount of likes is going to find a cure of cancer. It doesn’t work that way.
6. EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON. IT COULD HAVE BEEN WORSE.
What in the actual world does that imply? World War 2, Ebola, AIDS- they happened for a reason I suppose. Yeah, I’ve got a bad headache but hey at least it is not diarrhoea right.
7. TRY TO THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX.
Say this to me one more time, I swear.
8. JUST BECAUSE THERE’S A GOALIE DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN’T SCORE.
Are you a traffic sign? Because STOP.
9. RULES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN.
Do you know how a dictionary works? Please look up the meaning.
10. I TOLD YOU SO.
Yes, I know you did. And I hope you get hit by a bus.
11. I HATE MONDAYS.
Mondays called, they don’t give a shit about what you think.
Yeah if you were on fire and I had a bucket of water, I would take a shower.
BONUS – TELL ME SOMETHING ABOUT YOURSELF.
I am sorry I didn’t know this was a job interview.