Other than losing sleep, patience, and quite a bit of privacy, having a baby is a beautiful feeling that two people can share. Never mind the temporary relationship earthquake that a couple has to go through.
Albeit, it’s a difficult phase, but the bittersweet things that make up the family of three exciting is what keeps us going. Here’s how having a baby will affect your marriage:
The Competition Gets Tougher:
If changing nappies could win you awards, there would be bloodbath for victory. As much as dealing with poo sounds, erm, weird, life becomes a constant competition based on who is more tired, who works harder and who has changed more nappies.
Sex It Up, Quick! :
Relaxed romance might become a thing of the past. The only sex you’ll manage to have will be quick and very quiet, in order not to wake the baby up. Or even at times, sleep can take a front seat while you discover sex is less of a luxury than six hours of sleep.
Multi-Tasking Is In! :
You spent days and nights screaming at each other about learning the art of multi-tasking, while now both of you are extra aware of each other’s ability to multi-task. Remembering the nappies, wipes, fresh towels and baby milk, everything on your fingertips!
Valuing Every Buck:
The thought of paying for baby food, diapers, clothes, doc visits, and such will definitely keep you up at night even when the baby doesn’t. Going out for quick drinks with your bros and your partner’s visits to the salon might become a thing of the past. Yes, clipping nails doesn’t require money, but needs time. We leave that to you! Plus, finally you might start a savings account too…for you as well as the little one.
You’ll Fall In Love…Again:
The kiddo will have her eyes that caught your eye. The baby might have her ears, reminding of her where you often whispered sweet nothings. The way the baby is a reflection of the two of you will help you remember what made you fall in love with each other in the first place. And your shared love for the little one will only bring you closer and motivate you to make your relationship work well for years to come.
Tips for New Parents:
As you enter this new stage of life as a family, staying focused on what really matters will help you through the rough spots, especially in the first few months. It may bother you that you didn’t have time to make the bed, but overall, that’s not too important.
The more flexible you can be about what gets done when, the more relaxed and in control you’ll feel.
To keep you both on track with the chores that have to be accomplished, make a list of each partner’s duties and post it on the refrigerator. For those tasks that are more draining, like nighttime feedings, take turns whenever you can.
If you both help out, then one of you won’t wind up feeling resentful because you have to do all the work.
Be sure to notice what’s going right, too. Praise yourself and your partner for managing yet another round of feedings, diaper changes, and baby entertaining.
All new parents need to hear about what they’re doing well, remembering that each parent may do things slightly differently. The goal is a happy, healthy family.
And try to be aware of each other’s emotions and needs. If your partner has had a particularly stressful day, offer to take the baby so your partner can soak in the tub, watch a favorite TV show, or read a book for half an hour.
Above all, enjoy the time with your new arrival — your little one will grow up faster than you realize.