Being a parent is the most difficult task of the world. You need to teach your kid lots of things to lead a happy and successful life later.
Few days back i was teaching my daughter to stay calm and be positive.A few weeks later, my daughter came home, upset that she had felt excluded at a party. After half an hour of feeling anguish, she turned to me and said, “You know mom, those kids at school are not the only thing in my life. I have other friends at school, I have my family, camp friends, and this evening I’m spending with you! I feel better already. It still bothers me, but when I put my attention on the other things in my life it becomes more of the background and I can feel happy again.” I thought to myself, Yes, you got it!
Here are some tips for you to achieve the same:
1. Take them to a busy place and challenge them to shift their focus.
Just as we did in the park, take your children to a busy area or park in your town and let them experience what they see, hear, and feel when they shift their attention in their surroundings.
Encourage them to shift back and forth between hearing all the sounds around them and then focusing on one sound at a time. After a while, have a chat about it: How did they feel? What did they experience?
If you feel the time is right, ask them how it could apply to their life at school or with their friends. It won’t cause them to ignore painful parts of life; instead, it will teach them not to let one part of their life drown out the parts that are pleasant and joyful.
2. Teach them to have a “maybe” practice.
If your child is a little older, it can be effective to have him or her write down the problem that’s consuming them. Then ask them to write the sentence, “Am I absolutely certain this problem won’t work out?” Usually the answer is no.
You can also help them challenge their problem with what I call “maybe” statements, such as, “Maybe my thoughts about my problem are not true.” “Maybe what is happening can get better.” “Maybe everything is still okay.”
Review these statements with them a couple of times each day. With more hope for a better outcome or the realization that they’re not doomed, their minds can relax and come back to the present to enjoy the good things happening in their lives.
3. Create a gratitude journal with them.
Buy your child a plain notebook and decorate it with them. Have them write on the cover “Gratitude Journal.”
Then, every night before they go to bed, sit with them for a few minutes and discuss the idea of gratitude. Ask them to write down a few things that happened that day for which they are grateful. Each day help them remember the good that happened, or just read what they wrote in the past.
4. Use small objects as visual reminders of the blessings in life.
Take your children shopping and buy them a few inexpensive trinkets, such as a bracelet, a toy car, or a key chain. Then explain that it’s a symbol to remind them of the good things in their lives.
Tell them that when they see these objects to look for a blessing in their life no matter how big or small, even if it’s just not having too much homework that evening or seeing a movie.
The more they practice this with the visual reminder, the more it will become second nature for them to appreciate the good in life.
If our children can embrace the idea of looking for the good in life when they’re young, it will become solid perspective for them as they grow older and face new and ever more difficult challenges. And when our children are able to appreciate the beauty in life, they’ll find more joy in the precious moments of everyday living!